Chapter IV: Of Stage Hands and Horses

     "Thank God you made it Frankie" A stage hand says to the extremely nervous (and now also clamy) Centaur Brandon. "The show starts in thirty minutes. Also, you doth smell like a latrine in need of emptying. Am I right fellas." The stage manager made this jest to several other back stage employees. They all had a hardy laugh. This was to be the first of many times in which Centaur Brandon would be insulted by his piers and have to hold his highly pessimistic and dangerously sharp tongue (not sharp in the literal sense for those readers who  have a reading comprehension worse than that of a fifth grader). Brandon pretended to laugh at the jest as well, in the most excruciatingly awkward imaginably possible. You Centaur Brandon had not laughed once in his life, for he found it futile. So when he did in fact try to laugh he straight up made a horse noise bra, it was like mad ridiculous.

Frankie was this smart.

       "You Frankie, did you just whinny?"  One of the stage hands asked him.
       "Who me? That is utterly ridiculous." He once again attempted to laugh nervously, and was slightly more successful in this attempt." I am one hundred percent real man flesh, this is a costume. You sure have some imagination residing deep within that cranium in your possession."
        All of the stage hands looked at one another strangely. You see upon leaving the camp to "Pop a squat" Frankie had been as dumb as a sack of rocks. Now he was shooting off words of elevated diction as frequently as he used to scratch his nuts and talk of wenches.
       "Any one else notice that Frankie is talking like some noble fancy pants gay boy all of a sudden?" The stage hand who had first received Centaur Brandon inquired. Now I know what you are thinking you are thinking "Oh ho ho, hold on there guy. Lets just stop and pretend for one second any of this is true at all. Well then can you explain to me why exactly some one who works in theater goes around calling people gay boys and such. We all know everyone in drama or who has ever seen a play secretly wants to live on fire island. Why would he offend his own people like that."

Great support, no ventilation.

          Smothering pillow of death! Totally possible fool, movies don't lie.Yeah that's right I would smother you to death with a pillow because you ask sooooo many questions and you interrupt and presumably you floss with foreskin, just saying. Then I would look down at your pillow smothered self and say "Yo dawg its like this, back then it wasn't totally gay to act. In fact it got you more action than any bro ever got with date rape. And that is saying something."
          Anyway these dudes were thinking very hard on the topic of "Frankie's" new found genius when Centaur Brandon realized "Wait these brutes are absolute ignoramuses." So he told them this. "I forgot to tell you gentlemen , I went to the finest of private schools. I was simply afraid you gentlemen would judge me for not being entirely of the lower class."What a brilliant lie this was. They would never be able to find a loop whole in his story. It was fool proof. Flawless.
         "Yeah Frankie? So when we grew up in Dunkirk living in a hovel together starving you were attending 'the finest private schools' That's weird. Come to think of it, I should have recognized you weren't my twin brother, sometimes the make up makes it hard to tell." This was truly disastrous.
      "Get him Boys!" Yelled Frankie's twin the stage hand. "This Frankie is an imposter!"

He probably also did this with his hands.

      Brandon answered with a swift horse kick to his temple and as always with a quick remark said "Quite on the contrary, I think you will find I am in fact much more 'real' than your Frankie ever was." He then be-lined for the portcullis. He ran through unabated. Fortunately for Centaur Brandon all of the guards were already watching the opening act of the show, a jewish comedian, who as it would later turn out would be the great great great great great great great grand father of Jerry Seinfeld. [Looks like Centaur Brandon wouldn't be joining the circus after all...] <== (Cliff Hanger)