Chapter III: The Circus Centaur
Now I know what you are thinking right off the bat, you are thinking "Why would Brandon the misogynist want to join the circus where he would be surrounded by people all of the time. I mean it just seems like you ran out of ideas a threw in a dumb plot twist." At which point I would indefinitely call you a dick and insult your lineage. However I must admit that you are half correct in your assumptions. It does in fact seem rather impossible that our human hating centaur would join the circus... but there is a perfectly good reason!
You see it was necessity for Centaur Brandon to join the circus. What else could he do? The only home he had ever known had been taken from him and he now faced the very real threat of starvation. Being a logical creature as is oft to be Centaur Brandon, instead of feeling pity for himself said down and thought out the problem. For he knew he could not stay where he was, if he did his demise would be eminent. However, He also knew that he could not and probably never would join the mainstream. Just when things were starting to seem truly hopeless one of the grandest ideas Brandon had ever had occurred to him. He would have his salvation and its name was the circus.
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| This floats Brandon's boat |
For Centaur Brandon at this point remembered a time when a traveling band of circus man had come to his fathers keep. Keeping a safe distance from the scene he watched from the wood as men unloaded several wooden pylons and pallets, which were then fashioned into a stage of sorts. It was pretty bad ass. Then from the caravan appeared the entertainers: French people, Siamese twins, crusty jugglers with blue beards, bears wearing sick ass tiny vests, aqua man, bearded women (he was especially fond of these), tightrope walkers, and finally and most magnificent and intriguing of all (besides the bearded ladies) one of his own! A REAL LIVE CENTAUR!!!
At the time Centaur Brandon had been too afraid and too logical to try to approach the centaur. What did he have to gain? He was content to just survive in his woodland home at the time. However, some part of Centaur Brandon, deep deeeeeeep down really truly did want to speak to his kin, yet the logic centers of his brain would not allow such brash irrational actions. Though now it would seem it was his only option. He would have to seek out that particular Circus and find them, and quickly, lest he be discovered by regular folk. So he began his epic quest to find the circus people. He turned around to make his way to the village of Dunkirk where the circus may be. As he turned his head he noticed a poster that read Yo the circus is totally here tonight. You should come. Well that was much easier than Brandon had predicted. Now just how would he get by the mobs now searching the forrest to get close enough to the Circus Centaur to talk to him?
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| He would totally be like this |
It would be difficlut, that he was sure of. He must ready himself for anything and everything. First he would have to make preparations before night fall so that he could sneak into the Keep of Sandwich undetected. First he set to fashioning a sort of heavy duty grappling hook out of the vines of local fona and the branches of trees. He hoped this would be strong enough to support his Centaur weight. He would be like the ninja, silent, deadly, and he would get into the keep to see the Circus Centaur.
Later that night as darkness fell, Centaur Brandon mentally prepared himself for what was to come. This would probably be his one and only chance to meet another of his kind, another survivor.
Now I know what you are thinking you are thinking "Hey , Hey you narraratot guy didn't you tell us like one chapter ago that Brandon was the only centaur? Jesus guy you would think that before you told someones biography you would at least get the facts straight." To which I would reply "Shut the hell up! I will admit this was kind of comical the first couple hundred times but now it is getting annoying. Please just bare with me for the rest of the God damned story and you will find out. I promise. God next time I will punch your face in and eat your kids." To which you would probably reply "Yo man calm down lets be reasonable." Then I would be all "I will show you reasonable. KAME HAME HA!!!" and then you would be completey vaporized so watch your mouth guy, before you get it blasted into oblvion.
Any way after much preparation Centaur Brandon was ready to attempt to sneak his way into the citadel. He quietly approached the castle.
"Hey you must be the other centaur actor."
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| Me destroying the last reader that questioned me |
This took Brandon by surprise. For all his preparation he was still an amature ninja. Lets face it, quadrapeds make like the worst ninjas in the whole world. Not ten feet away from brandon stood one of the many footmen of the Earl of Sandwich. However Centaur Brandon had gained some very key information from this guard 1) The Circus Centaur was an actor 2) It would be very easy to get into the castle.
"Yes I am he" Centaur Brandon declared.
"Lucky I got to you before the beast did. Some say a real centaur lurks in these very woods. I don't buy it, sounds like peasant talk to me, but the earl seems convinced, he is is getting rather old. Age doth ware on the brain so."
"Ah yes, quite fortunate for me." The guard then escorted Centaur Brandon into the keep. This would be Centaur Brandons new life. If he could just convince the circus people to let him into their ranks.
A guard yells "Look the beast he is attempting to charge the keep!" Brandon worries he has been discovered. However not but twenty yards behind him, the man who is presumably centaur #2 approaches.
"Fire arrows at will!" Volley upon volley of the guardsmens arrows rain down upon the most unfortunate thespian.
"Well I must admit that is a most convincing costume." says Centaur Brandon.
"What was that?" the guard asks.
"Oh Nothing" Replies Centaur Brandon. Now to actually join this circus.
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